I didn’t wake up one day and think; nope I’m never going to procreate. Much like many women, who I believe, have an urge from early on in life that they one day want to be a mother. Or ever since you were younger you knew you had an attraction to the same sex even though no one “taught” you that. It’s just this innate thing.
If you ask someone what their favorite color is and why, they won’t be able to come up with reasoning as to why they chose that color. They like that color because they were naturally drawn to it. That is how I have always been about being a mom, or well, not being a mom. It has been an innate, deep down, gut feeling that it just wasn’t in the cards for me.
And you know what? That’s Okay.
It’s Okay that I want different things for my life. It’s not selfish. It’s not denial. I won’t change my mind when I’m 35, 40….or if I did, that’s Okay too.
I have struggled with the fact that so many people, society, and myself place pressure that it’s not “normal” how I feel. It’s not “normal” to not have the longing of motherhood running through my veins. That when I hold a baby my ovaries don’t start screaming.
I want to travel and see the world. I want to one day speak to women on a platform about empowerment, confidence, and living our best lives. Just because I want things that are different than what “tradition” tells us, doesn’t mean it is wrong.
And dang, it took me a long time to come to a place of peace and understanding with that.
So, my fellow female friends, if you don’t want to be a mom, for whatever reason, know it’s perfectly okay. And yes, the day you get married (it happened to me) people will start asking ‘when are you going to start trying?’ And you honestly don’t even have to answer. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you want in your life. Its YOUR life. This too was a hard one to accept and understand. I don’t have to explain why I don’t want kids.
I don’t want to be a mother, and that’s Okay.